Earlier this year, I talked about Hindsight being 20/20 and promised to share a few of my learning experiences. Seriously dating someone has always been somewhat of an achilles heel for me. No, I’ve never dated anyone who brought me down so to speak but there have been several instances where I allowed myself to get so wrapped up the individual that I missed out on my own personal opportunities for growth.
After a few encounters with men that didn’t turn out quite the way I thought they should, there comes a time when you begin to question yourself. Wondering if you are the sole reason for your relationship troubles. While I am not perfect by any means, nor do I portray to be, one thing is for sure. I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I am a good woman who has a lot to offer.
So why was it that I was still coming up short???
What I realized is that in most cases, the underlying issue of why some of my relationships didn’t go further than I’d anticipated was simply because:
Once I accepted that, I stopped taking everything personal and being so hard on myself. I started listening to the men who were straight forward enough to tell me that they weren’t looking for anything serious and stopped devoting so much of myself to them. For those that weren’t as upfront, it eventually began to show up in their actions so I took heed and acted accordingly.
Moral of the story is, you can’t make someone be something that they are not willing to be on their own.
As cliché as it may sound, no amount of effort on your part will change the fact that he’s just not ready until he’s actually ready and attempting to move heaven and earth for him will only leave you feeling unfulfilled when it’s all said and done. So be mindful of the time and energy you devote to a situation, thinking that you can change a man’s mind about being ready for the level of commitment that you desire by trying to be the exception to his rule.