In my recent post about SPACE: Why It’s Important In Relationships I briefly touched on the ever so important topic of trust. A lot of people have trust issues due to certain things they have experienced in their past which unfortunately carry over into their current friendships and romantic relationships, sometimes preventing them from even getting off the ground.
Even though I have been witness to and experienced my share of betrayal, I choose to live by one simple rule when it comes to trust. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they do something to prove me wrong.
Easier said than done right?
I will admit that the ease of practicing this rule of thumb didn’t come about overnight but the realization that I was pushing away a few good people in my life by being so guarded, did.
First things first…
Trust yourself to trust again.
I have always been a pretty good judge of character. I either get a good vibe, bad vibe or just the feeling that something is a bit off. If I get a good vibe, we’re good to go. If it’s a bad vibe, we’re a no go. If it feels like something is a bit off, we’re good to go until I figure out what that something is and re-evaluate the situation at that time. Don’t let the past mistakes of others or your fear of getting hurt again dictate how you treat or block any newcomers in your life.
Communicate and set boundaries.
The ability to properly communicate what works for you and what doesn’t will save you so much time and unnecessary hurt feelings. How can you expect someone else to know they’ve broken your trust if you never set the boundaries to begin with? Every individual lives by a different set of rules. What’s OK for them may not be OK for you. So in any relationship, it’s important you come together to agree on what’s acceptable and not acceptable for both parties. In the event that uncertainty arises, there should be an open door between you and your partner for ample, non-argumentative discussion.
Once you’ve done these things, there’s nothing left to do but move forward. There is no need to spend your time being consumed by negative thoughts of what may go wrong in the relationship. Take the time to enjoy all that is positive and handle the hiccups along the way according to what’s best for you realizing that there is a lesson to be learned in every situation.