As an only child I have always loved having MY space but when I was younger and would fantasize about the perfect relationship I would someday have, I always imagined myself being boo’d up with my significant other at ALL times. In later years, I quickly realized that being around someone 24/7, 365 days a year is definitely not the way to go.
Most people hate hearing the word space when it comes to relationships but in my opinion a healthy amount of it will serve as a lifeline for any long-term relationship.
Here are a few key things to remember …
Don’t lose yourself.
I’ve seen it happen way too many times and have even been guilty of this myself. You have your own life running on all cylinders; your job, hobbies, circle of friends, etc. then you meet that special someone and somewhere along the line your life starts to become all about them. You slack up on your own interests, stop going on outings with your friends, spend all your time with your new boo and before you know it, you look up and wonder what happened to the person you used to be. God forbid the relationship doesn’t work out and you’re left to pick up the pieces of what was your “own” life outside the relationship which makes the adjustment process that much more difficult.
Just because you are not around that person ALL the time doesn’t mean you care any less about them.
Spending every waking moment together is not a requirement for showing someone you care about them. It’s OK for him to hang with the guys and you to hang with the girls or even take time to yourselves every now and then. Save yourself from growing bored with them and implement other ways to express your love and most heartfelt feelings to your partner.
If you only trust your partner as far as you can see them, then you have an even bigger problem on your hands.
If you’re afraid to give your partner space in the relationship in fear of them stepping out on you or behaving inappropriately then you may need to re-evaluate the relationship all together. Trust is a whole ‘nother blog post in itself!
Absence DOES make the heart grow fonder.
If you smother a person with time spent they won’t have enough of their own time to process how they really feel about you. For example, my “me time” is usually spent at the spa and when I hear those ladies sharing their horror stories about their men being every kind of dog, it reminds me that the guy I’m dating is pretty decent and I value his presence in my life that much more.
With that being said…
It’s a nice feeling to have your significant other call or send you a random text and say “I Miss You” so give them time to actually miss you and I guarantee the time spent after your hiatus will be refreshing and well worth it.